» 2010 » February

There is a lot of social media advice out there right now. Like any hot or new topic, especially a topic where there is a lot of leeway between “right” and “wrong”, everyone has an opinion. Some of it conflicting. Some of it works better for individuals rather than business. Some of it does not work.

Of course it does not matter about personal preference or taste – when you disagree that means you are doing it wrong, heh. Seriously, sometimes we just have to see what works for us.

One area that is very much like that is who you should friend or follow. There are various schools of thought and I would be interested in hearing yours.

• People I have met in real life – This is a rule that people often follow in Facebook and, to a lesser extent, LinkedIn. There are good reasons for this, from preventing being spammed, through to privacy concerns. Also for many people that is the whole point of getting into the service in the first place. Unfortunately this does not work for me. Some of the people I have never met I prefer to the ones I have for a start. All of the books I have written I co-authored with people I had never met in person. Face to face is important, but not so important that it is the only way to meet people, at least in my opinion.
• People I have had a conversation with – Here is my approach. If someone else initiates the connection I judge it based on how much conversation I have had with the person. This serves to reduce the number of spammers I connect with, but does not unfortunately illiminate the problem (some people are good at seeming genuine, or only turn into jerks later). When someone contacts me I look to see if I recognise them, from anywhere, and then will allow or ignore. On Twitter I only follow people back now who I have had a real conversation with rather than just one or two @replies.
• People I want to know – If I initiate a contact and it does not match the criteria above, then it will be because I want to know the person. I don’t know Stephen Fry personally, but I enjoy his work and ideas so I follow him without expecting him to follow me back (he does, but I don’t take that to mean an invitation to come round his house for afternoon tea and buscuits). Unlike many businesses I will not befriend prospects just because I think they might be interested in what I have to sell, not that I think that is bad as such, just that is not how I like to operate.

What about auto-follow? Isn’t it rude not to follow everyone back?

My own answer is … No, I disagree with autofollow or following everyone who follows you. I also disagree with unfollowing because someone else does not follow you alone (unfollow if they are not interesting, not just to spite someone). There are no rules about who you follow or not, but I do not think it is a good idea to follow everyone, and I do not think it is rude to not follow someone just because they follow you. If they really really need to DM you then they can @message you to follow them back because they need to send a private message. Nobody has the right to your DM inbox.

What about lists, groups and filters?

If you are a business and you want to track what competitors, prospects, or peers are up to then you do not need to follow or friend them in most cases. Using Twitter lists and RSS feeds you can observe without actually being their friend. OK, this could go into the “stalker” territory so best not to take too far, but you do not have to connect with everyone you are interested in.

What do you think? What is your follow/friend approach? Please let me know in the comments …